oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize