May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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