So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
