she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
