physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
