Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
