I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I can't turn off my feet"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
