Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
