the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
