He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
