We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
