drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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