You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he thought i was a dude.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
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a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
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you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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