Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
