Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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