i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Mom said you looked used
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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