Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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