Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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