we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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