Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
