Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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