I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
