The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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