I saw his package. It spoke to me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize