the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
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what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
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You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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