Your tits are I can't wait for
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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