For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
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When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
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I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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