where am i from again
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
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Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
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I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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