Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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