I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
