i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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