I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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