Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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