i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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