billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hippo gnu deer
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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