people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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