He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
