My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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