and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
