I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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