dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
