his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
