There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
