Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
