You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
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i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
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I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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