just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
