Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize