Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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