that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
