Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
