Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
