So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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