Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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