I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
