He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
