I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
