The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize