I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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