Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
