well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
