My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize